what remains

I hope one day
I can feel like I'm enough

I hope some day
This won't feel like suffering

a little more like toughening
the edges of this silk
I call my disposition

until it's black as tar
or clear as glass

watch it,tear it..
hold it fast

mold a sad beginning
from a hopeful past

be happy,
smile

fake ecstasy

be good like you're supposed to be

be anything but close to me


watch it, tear it,
hold it fast

you rip this silk
then hope it lasts

genius

I can dream, can't I?

I know I'm not the smart one
or the beautiful one
or even the one you love


but that's because you can't see me
through thick
preconception


and if this girl can't have dreams
then I'm bouncing around a hollow shell
of things called skin and bone and
a universe
too small to hold what I could astound
even you
with

if I could loose the grip around my neck
your trembling fingers are
unaware of.

the option of failing

you let me be me
and that is what's beautiful about you

the world is yours
but you'd toss me the key
if I'd catch it

but blind I become
when your heart bleeds...

and if I'm scared of one thing
it's that I'll succeed

and leave you with nothing

nothing but me